Gonna have to make this quick. Gotta leave for work soon :'D BUT- story/realization/motivational speech time!!
SO- I was in the shower, b/c you needed to know that, and i started thinking. I was listening to some music and I just had a sudden change.
I'm... sick of being upset, sad, angry, depressing, a bummer, anxiety filled, not confident. Im sick of it. Im tired of pitying myself and starting arguments for no reason and just- not being me. The REAL me.
I began thinking, if I really hate myself, why wont I change?
If I really hate my body, I can work out.
I can cut the soda's and sugar, dance, bike, run and sing.
If I really hate how I look, I can change.
Change my wardrobe, makeup, attitude, hair.
If I really hate my art, I can practice.
Try new styles, bigger projects, new things.
If I really hate my 'boring' life, I can fix it.
Do more things, go more places.
If I really hate how unorganized I am, I can do something.
Actually write in that journal I bought, clean my life up, be happy.
If I hate how i can't do this or that, I can do it.
I CAN practice sewing, clay work, comics, animation.
If I really hate me, I can be ME
Be the person I actually am, not someone im not.
This was the epiphany I had in the shower. If im so tired. If im so sick of life. If im so- why me?
Then WHY haven't I tried to change it.
Change, Thats what I want.
And i'm ready for it.
No more soda's/sugar/unhealthy foods
No more clutter
No more saddness
No more- old me.
Anywho- this was more personal than a motivational speech. I just need to get this out of me, and put it in public view so i can remember.
BUT- gotta run to work now!! BYE BYE~!!